Cows.

An off topic forum, where you can talk about things other than Delicas. Site Rule 1.1.1 still applies.

Moderators: BCDelica, mark

Post Reply
User avatar
FalcoColumbarius
Site Admin
Posts: 5983
Joined: Tue Jan 22, 2008 1:55 pm
Member's Photo Album: http://www.delica.ca/Photos/index.php?cat=11103
Vehicle: Delica; Chamonix GLX ('92 P25W)
Location: North Van, BC, eh?

Cows.

Post by FalcoColumbarius »

A farmer named Sam was overseeing his herd in a remote hilly pasture in Hereford when suddenly a brand-new BMW advanced toward him out of a cloud of dust.

The driver, a young man in a Brioni® suit, Gucci® shoes, RayBan® sunglasses and YSL® tie, leaned out the window and asked the farmer, "If I tell you exactly how many cows and calves you have in your herd, will you give me a calf?"
Sam looks at the man, who obviously is a yuppie, then looks at his peacefully grazing animals and calmly answers, "Sure, why not?"

The yuppie parks his car, whips out his Dell® notebook computer, connects it to his Cingular RAZR V3® cell phone, and surfs to a NASA page on the Internet, where he calls up a GPS satellite to get an exact fix on his location which he then feeds to another NASA satellite that scans the area in an ultra-high-resolution photo.

The young man then opens the digital photo in Adobe Photoshop® and exports it to an image processing facility in Hamburg, Germany ...

Within seconds, he receives an email on his Palm Pilot® that the image has been processed and the data stored. He then accesses an MS-SQL®
database through an ODBC connected Excel® spreadsheet with email on his Blackberry® and, after a few minutes, receives a response.

Finally, he prints out a full-color, 150-page report on his hi-tech, miniaturized HP LaserJet® printer, turns to the Farmer and says, "You have exactly 1,586 cows and calves."

"That's right. Well, I guess you can take one of my calves," says Sam.

He watches the young man select one of the animals and looks on with amusement as the young man stuffs it into the trunk of his car.
Then Sam says to the young man, "Hey, if I can tell you exactly what your business is, will you give me back my calf?"

The young man thinks about it for a second and then says, "Okay, why not?"
"You're a Member of the European Parliament", says Sam.
"Wow! That's correct," says the yuppie, "but how did you guess that?"

"No guessing required." answered Sam. "You showed up here even though nobody called you; you want to get paid for an answer I already knew, to a question I never asked. You used millions of pounds worth of equipment trying to show me how much smarter than me you are; and you don't know a thing about how working people make a living - or about cows, for that matter. This is a herd of sheep.

Now give me back my dog.
Sent from my smart pad, using a pen.

Seek Beauty... Image Good Ship Miss Lil' Bitchi

...... Vision without action is a daydream. Action without vision is a nightmare. ~ Japanese Proverb
RadarGrrl
Posts: 234
Joined: Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:41 pm
Member's Photo Album: http://www.delica.ca/Photos/index.php?cat=22564
Vehicle: 1998 L400 Chamonix
Location: Comox, BC

Re: Cows.

Post by RadarGrrl »

I've seen this one before, but I've never seen it told with such Detail®.

Cingular RAZR V3®...it really has been doing the rounds! By today's standards, what an obsolete POS flipphone!

Who uses Palm Pilots anymore, anyway?

...and why isn't he driving a Deli?
It's not just a van, it's an entire subculture!
Post Reply

Return to “The Last Word Café ~ The Forum.”