Create your own ad

[nxski]

Here's the deal, I have no intention of selling my van but I like to come up with ad's for things to sell. The ultimate sale item in my mind would be my Delica. I've been pondering what the ad would say, how to lay it out, how to upsell it, etc. Pretend you're listing your beloved ride on craigslist or DelicaTrader and have at her...

Instead of filtering through pages of build threads this is a great way of outlining all the features of your ride in one simple compact post.

[jessef]

I can't think of any other unique 'thing' I had the pleasure and sadness at the same time parting with than Turtle.

The love : http://www.delica.ca/forum/turtle-l300- ... 10675.html

The hand over : http://www.delica.ca/forum/l300-delica- ... 10676.html

The ad was peppered with pictures and a long story to boot that showcased the curber love that went into that portable deli-home.


If you want something interesting to read that will make even Falco and RSI on a bad forum day laugh out loud with uncontrollable laughter, read this. It's going to be an internet staple.


http://www.craigslist.org/about/best/se ... 36393.html


Yoga mat for sale. Used once. - $1 (Bellevue)

Yoga mat for sale. Used once at lunch hour class in December 2009. Usage timeline as follows:

11:45a
Register for hot yoga class. Infinite wisdom tells me to commit to 5 class package and purchase a yoga mat. I pay $89.74. Money well spent, I smugly confirm to myself.

11:55a
Open door to yoga room. A gush of hot dry air rushes through and past me. It smells of breath, sweat and hot. Take spot on floor in back of room next to cute blonde. We will date.

11:57a
I feel the need to be as near to naked as possible. This is a problem because of the hot blonde to my left and our pending courtship. She will not be pleased to learn that I need to lose 30 pounds before I propose to her.

11:58a
The shirt and sweats have to come off. I throw caution to the wind and decide to rely on my wit and conditioning to overcome any weight issues my fiancée may take issue with. This will take a lot of wit and conditioning.

11:59a
Begin small talk with my bride to be. She pretends to ignore me but I know how she can be. I allow her to concentrate and stare straight ahead and continue to pretend that I don't exist. As we finish sharing our special moment, I am suddenly aware of a sweat moustache that has formed below my nose. This must be from the all the whispering between us.

12:00p
Instructor enters the room and ascends her special podium at the front of the room. She is a slight, agitated Chinese woman. She introduces me to the class and everyone turns around to greet me just as I decide to aggressively adjust my penis and testes packed in my Under Armor. My bride is notably unfazed.

12:02p
Since I do have experience with Hot Yoga (4 sessions just 5 short years ago) I fully consider that I may be so outstanding and skilled that my instructor may call me out and ask me to guide the class. My wife will look on with a sparkle in her eye. We will make love after class.

12:10p
It is now up to 95 degrees in the room. We have been practicing deep breathing exercises for the last 8 minutes. This would not be a problem if we were all breathing actual, you know, oxygen. Instead, we are breathing each other's body odor, expelled carbon dioxide and other unmentionables. (Don't worry, I'll mention them later.)

12:26p
It is now 100 degrees and I take notice of the humidity, which is hovering at about 90%. I feel the familiar adorning stare of my bride and decide to look back at her. She appears to be nauseated. I then realize that I forgot to brush my teeth prior to attending this class. We bond.

12:33p
It is now 110 degrees and 95% humidity. I am now balancing on one leg with the other leg crossed over the other. My arms are intertwined and I am squatting. The last time I was in this position was 44 years ago in the womb, but I'm in this for the long haul. My wife looks slightly weathered dripping sweat and her eyeliner is streaming down her face. Well, "for better or worse" is what we committed to so we press on.

12:40p
The overweight Hispanic man two spots over has sweat running down his legs. At least I think its sweat. He is holding every position and has not had a sip of water since we walked in. He is making me look bad and I hate him.

12:44p
I consider that if anyone in this room farted that we would all certainly perish.

12:52p
It is now 140 degrees and 100% humidity. I am covered from head to toe in sweat. There is not a square millimeter on my body that is not slippery and sweaty. I am so slimy that I feel like a sea lion or a maybe sea eel. Not even a bear trap could hold me. The sweat is stinging my eyeballs and I can no longer see.

12:55p
This room stinks of asparagus, cloves, tuna and tacos. There is no food in the room. I realize that this is an amalgamation of the body odors of 30 people in a 140 degree room for the last 55 minutes. Seriously, enough with the asparagus, ok?

1:01p
140 degrees and 130% humidity. Look, bitch, I need my space here so don't get all pissy with me if I accidentally sprayed you with sweat as I flipped over. Seriously, is that where this relationship is going? Get over yourself. We need counseling and she needs to be medicated. Stat!

1:09p
150 degrees and cloudy. And hot. I can no longer move my limbs on my own. I have given up on attempting any of the commands this Chinese chick is yelling out at us. I will lay sedentary until the aid unit arrives. I will buy this building and then have it destroyed.
I lose consciousness.

1:15p
I have a headache and my wife is being a selfish bitch. I can't really breathe. All I can think about is holding a cup worth of hot sand in my mouth. I cannot remember what an ice cube is and cannot remember what snow looks like. I consider that my only escape might be a crab walk across 15 bodies and then out of the room. I am paralyzed, and may never walk again so the whole crab walk thing is pretty much out.

1:17p
I cannot move at all and cannot reach my water. Is breathing voluntary or involuntary? If it's voluntary, I am screwed. I stopped participating in the class 20 minutes ago. Hey, lady! I paid for this frickin class, ok?! You work for me! Stop yelling at everyone and just tell us a story or something. It's like juice and cracker time, ok?

1:20p
It is now 165 degrees and moisture is dripping from the ceiling. The towel that I am laying on is no longer providing any wicking or drying properties. It is actually placing additional sweat on me as I touch it. My towel reeks. I cannot identify the smell but no way can it be from me. Did someone spray some stank on my towel or something?

1:30p
Torture session is over. I wish hateful things upon the instructor. She graciously allows us to stay and 'cool down' in the room. It is 175 degrees. Who cools down in 175 degrees? A Komodo Dragon? My wife has left the room. Probably to throw up.

1:34p
My opportunity to escape has arrived. I roll over to my stomach and press up to my knees. It is warmer as I rise up from ground level - probably by 15 degrees. So let's conservatively say it's 190. I muster my final energy and slowly rise. One foot in front of the other. One foot in front of the other. Towards the door. Towards the door.

1:37p
The temperature in the lobby is 72 degrees. Both nipples stiffen to diamond strength and my penis begins to retract into my abdomen from the 100 degree temp swing. I can once again breathe though so I am pleased. I spot my future ex wife in the lobby. We had such a good thing going but I know that no measure of counseling will be able to unravel the day's turmoil and mental scaring.

1:47p
Arrive at Emerald City Smoothie and proceed to order a 32 oz beverage. 402 calories, 0 fat and 14 grams of protein -- effectively negating any caloric burn or benefit from the last 90 minutes. I finish it in 3 minutes and spend the next 2 hours writing this memoir.

3:47p
Create Craigslist ad while burning final 2 grams of protein from Smoothie and before the "shakes" consume my body.

4:29p
Note to self - check car for missing wet yoga towel in am.

[nxski]

1991 Delica Super Exceed L300 P35 Crystal Lite Roof, Grey over Silver

Came standard:
- Limited Slip Differential
- Cool-box
- Bush-bar
- 7 seats with rotating / sliding captains (middle) chairs
- 3 gauge pod cluster
- Electric everything
- 4WD H and L, 2WD

Additional's:
- Sony double-din stereo
- Sony 1400 watt amplifier
- 2 Sony 400 watt 15" Subwoofers
- Amplifier level control
- 150 watt Xantrex Inverter + power bar
- 200 amp battery isolator
- Digital power capacitor
- Additional 12V outlet with higher gauge wire
- Folding subwoofer boxes covered with black fabric
- Roof basket
- Roof rack dividers for roof basket
- Custom aluminum roof rack
- 2 black Thule roof boxes
- Terzo ladder
- 3 Receiver 2" Hitch
- 4 Bike North Shore Rack
- Additional higher gauge 12V outlet behind batteries
- 2" lift kit
- Procomp 900 shocks
- American Racing rims painted red and black
- 31" BFG AT K/O tires
- Repaired common rust problem on CL roof's and painted with Hippo Liner
- Mirrors painted with Hippo Liner
- additional convex mirrors
- Wide angle reverse mirror
- Custom side exhaust with glasspack muffler
- Clear window shades
- Chrome Grill
- Modified side-steps into 'radiator guards'
- Skid Plate
- Shackles front and back
- NRG steering wheel with wheel adaptor
- Type R racing pedals
- Momo spring shifter knob
- Metal tire air valve caps
- Hitch covers
- Red and black seat covers
- Custom black window curtains
- Red polka-dot window tint
- Googly eyed black fuzzy dice
- Cobra anti-slip dash pad
- drive-n-grill 12V panini maker
- Wood with rubber flooring on top
- NOS floor mats
- Folding wood bulkhead
- Custom curtain rod behind front seats
- Custom red front curtains
- Custom red on black centre console
- Custom black bed / couch / sliding coffee table/ cooking table
- 3" red foam cushions
- 3" queen size memory foam
- Larger windshield wipers and deflectors
- Aftermarket taillight's
- Spot light's
- Fog light's
- Additional reverse light's
- replaced almost all vehicle light's with LED's
- headlight protectors
- Pyrometer
- Alarm
- Power locks
- Turbo timer
- Immobilizer
- Remote start
- Manual glow plug system
- K&N air filter
- NRG oil catch can
- Amsoil dual remote oil bypass unit BMK23
- Dual bypass filter system mud flap
- Blanked and removed EGR
- Block Heater
- Wheel locks

Work done / parts replaced (all done in the last year, in chronological order):
- Sealed common leak from seam behind headlight's
- Replaced sway bar bushings and bolts
- 2 new batteries
- Refurbished 90A alternator
- Rejuvenated black plastic on bull bars
- New glow plugs
- Replaced leaking front washer fluid reservoir
- Replaced valve cover gasket
- New brake shoes and hardware
- Tightened front crank pulley
- Repaired windshield chips
- greased everything
- New wheel studs and lug nuts
- Fuel system treatment
- Wheels balanced and aligned
- R/R steering boot, both sides
- Replaced tie rod ends inner and outer
- Hub adjustment
- New marine battery terminal
- Crank torsion bars
- replaced all belts including timing
- adjusted front brakes
- Replaced thermostat
- Replaced Waterpump


Con's:
- a few paint dents and scratches
- clip missing front CL roof covers

Pro's:
- All electric equipment works perfectly
- Passed aircare easily
- all fluids are clean
- Royal Purple synthetic il being used
- oil changes less than every 5000km before dual bypass system
- Always driven with Petrolabs diesel additive
- I have babied the vehicle
- All service records are available
- Serviced at CVI

*** I have put over $13,500 (not including the purchase price) into this van and many hundreds of hours of work, it's a steal of a deal at a mere $XX,XXX***


This is an excellent vehicle and if this were a real ad she would be sorely missed!
Feel free to contact me at (778) 886-5348 or nesconst@gmail.com if you're interested.

For a step by step view of what has been done to the van please check out my build thread...
http://www.delica.ca/forum/hermione-s-m ... 10006.html

[jessef]

I think you're dangling the bait over certain *cough* members here.

[thedjjack]

I will open the bids at $12.47 for the 1991 Delica Super Exceed L300 P35 Crystal Lite Roof, Grey over Silver

[nxski]

I think you're dangling the bait over certain *cough* members here.

It's more of a 'showing off' thread than a 'baiting' thread.

[psilosin]

Thought you already had a thread for that...

[nxski]

Thought you already had a thread for that...

I have a thread to show off on my own. I want to see other people showing off...I'm just starting the ball rolling... Although funny posts like Jesse's are always welcome as well.

[jessef]

The gentleman in the white suit and sandals bids $12.48

[thedjjack]

Thought you already had a thread for that...

I have a thread to show off on my own. I want to see other people showing off...I'm just starting the ball rolling... Although funny posts like Jesse's are always welcome as well.

For Sale Toshiba Laptop

Newish (4 months ago), has model number but too lazy to look
Black
15" monitor
works
lots of programs

Make an offer

Reason for sale is THREADS LIKE THIS

[nxski]

I bid $10 on the laptop and turn down the $12.48 bid for my van.

[psilosin]

Have you really put $13,500 into Hermone? And it still smokes like joe camel for 30-60 seconds on startup? Thats wickity wickity wickity wack.

[thedjjack]

Have you really put $13,500 into Hermone? And it still smokes like joe camel for 30-60 seconds on startup? Thats wickity wickity wickity wack.

I think the $13,500 includes the purchase price, fuel that went in, oil changes, cloths worn during driving, possibly the cost of the pavement Hermone is parked on?

[nxski]

It does include the maintenance/oil changes but doesn't include the purchase price or the pavement, and yes it does still smoke.

[thedjjack]

It does include the maintenance/oil changes but doesn't include the purchase price or the pavement, and yes it does still smoke.

Maybe try the "patch" to see if it stops smoking...I hear it is hard to stop once one starts