Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

An off topic forum, where you can talk about things other than Delicas. Site Rule 1.1.1 still applies.

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Super Exceeded
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A little Canadian winter humour

Post by Super Exceeded »

As a North Bay trucker stops for a red light on Hwy.11, a
blonde catches up. She jumps out of her car, runs up to his
truck, and knocks on the door. The trucker lowers the
window, and she says, "Hi, my name is Heather, and you

are losing some of your load!"






The trucker ignores her and proceeds down the street.
When the truck stops for another red light, the girl

catches up again. She jumps out of her car runs up and
knocks on the door. Again, the trucker lowers the window.




As if they've never spoken, the blonde says brightly,
"Hi, my name is Heather, and you are
losing some of your load!"



Shaking his head, the trucker ignores her again and
continues down the street. At the third red light, the same
thing happens again.



All out of breath, the blonde gets out of her car, runs up,
knocks on the truck door.
The trucker lowers the window. Again she says, "Hi, my
name is Heather, and you are
losing some of your load!"



When the light turns green the trucker revs up and races to
the next light When he stops this time, he hurriedly gets
out of the truck, and runs back to the blonde. He knocks on
her window, and as she lowers it, he says,............



"Hi, my name is Kevin, it's winter in CANADA , and
I'm driving the f------ SALT TRUCK......."
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Spearo
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by Spearo »

I choose not to elaborate!

Be happy brothers and sisters. Or not. Either way, you will.

Cheers,
Erik
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"I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different" - Kurt Vonnegut
psilosin
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by psilosin »

"Lard! Lard! Lard!
You can see it, in the clouds up in the sky. Lard! It floats by in clusters in our water supply. Lard! It's in all of us, man. In our pores, and in our hair. Lard! What we conceal in those corny clothes we wear.
Lard is all. Lard is in control. Lard is divine. We carry credit cards. Lard whips and chains our soul. We live in fear of art. Lard is the One. Lard is revolution.
In the bottle of cheap tequila. Lard is the tapeworm, That comes alive at night, And sneaks up and bite our nipples.
Lard. Lard!
Nowadays, most of us need someone to run our personal life. Someone to see that the plants are watered. Someone to make sure the place is clean. Someone to make sure dinner is waiting. Some one to make up those cheap excuses. Someone to call for theater tickets. What we need is Lard! Lard! The answer. The ointment. The dancer. The dream. Absorb it. Inflame it. Respect it. Molest it.
Lard! Lard! The country, right now, it wants to be soothed. And told it doesn't have to pay, or sacrifice, or learn. No one is over the hill, when the mountain comes to Mohammed.
Lard! Lard! Lard!
We love to pray. We love to eat. Mold over mind. Hooray! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard!
Religion, and chemicals are the keys to the future. Next time that we have sex, just pretend that I'm Ed Meese. The weasels have it down, man. It's a whole new age. Lard! Which would you prefer? A computer, or a gun? The sharks outlived the dinosaurs, you know. Which came first? Max Headroom, or Gerald Ford? Are you a man or are you a mouse? If you love your fun, DIE FOR IT! Die for Lard!
The Power of Lard! The Power of Lard! Who's gonna baby sit the baby sitterss?
LARD!" - Jello Biafra

Man I miss the great music from the 80's...
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by Spearo »

psilosin wrote:"Man I miss the great music from the 80's...
Haha awesome! Luckily those tunes are still there :)
Erik
"I tell you, we are here on earth to fart around, and don't let anybody tell you different" - Kurt Vonnegut
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by solanoid »

Psilosin,

You are a true sophisticate, dead kennedys rule.
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FalcoColumbarius
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by FalcoColumbarius »

Never Mind Building Seven: What About 2012?
Not a lot has been mentioned in the Last Word Café about the end times so I just wanted to give it a little prod.

In 2008 I worked on a film entitled "2012". Now if you have ever seen the film ~ you will know that it involves a rather cataclysmic, apocalyptic doomsday scenario with San Francisco heaving up into the air and sliding into the Pacific Ocean and twin engine aeroplanes flying out of thick clouds of volcanic ash (which is ridiculous as the engines would have seized immediately) and massive tidal waves swallowing the rest of the world DUN DUN DAAAAAAA!!!!! Although I really must say that Woody Harrelson was great in that movie. Anyway, one day after work I stopped off at one of my fave coffee shops on my way home for a doppio macchiato and the barista asked me how work was and eventually we were talking on the subject of 2012 and the Mayan Calendar. There were only three other people in the shop at that time, darker complexion, two women & one man and sitting at the same table. The man gets up and walks over to us:

  • (Thick Mexican accent w/smoky voice)"I apologise for interrupting but I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. My name is Juan Carlos, I am from the Yucatan and am a Mayan."

I was half expecting to hear a gut string guitar at this point ~ it really came in from left field.

  • "I can tell you the meaning of the Prophesy."


He went on to expound on the collective spiritual enlightenment of humanity and how it is happening over a 50 odd year period, of which the 21st of December, 2012 is at the middle. I thought this to be an interesting spin on events, what with the advent of the internet in everyone's lives and the massive acceleration of technology in recent years.

Some people have written it off as bunk, "look at Y2K, that was supposed to be the end of the world, too". However Y2K was manufactured over a period of less than ten years and really had little foundation, where the Mayan Calendar has been around for a few thousand years and is far more accurate than our own calendar and we still don't know how they did it. I might also point out that it's not just the Mayan Calendar that ends in 2012. Consider the Hopi; consider the I Ching ~ not to mention Nostradamus, Youtube and the History Channel.

Then there is the "Galactic Alignment". Should we take note when all the planets line up? What are the magnetic ramifications? Where are they pointing to? For that matter, what do we mean by "the end of the World"? I doubt that the Earth is going to blow up ~ I see the "World" as man's affairs on the Earth...

What is your spin on this?

Falco.

Further reading on this matter:
2012 Phenomenon - Wikipedia
Hopi Prophesy
Trying To Be Nostradamus
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Mr. Flibble
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by Mr. Flibble »

Well, from a skeptical position I think that 2012 idea of the end of the world makes as much sense as it did for 2000, or all the times before that...

That, and a friend of mine has his PhD in Mayan Archaeology and he thinks that the 2012 idea is both absurd, and from the perspective of the Maya beliefs absolutely wrong.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by solanoid »

Falco,

Good subject,

I dont think that the world will end on this particular day, however this is the begining of a new era (aquarius if Im not mistaken) . To the best of my knowledge, 2012 means that the galaxy will for the first time tilt below zero degrees (it has been gradualy descending for eternity)

I love the mayan/aztec cultures, their wisdom is fascinating, their fate was a true loss to humanity. (thanks alot to all who represent those that did that...you know who you are)
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by FalcoColumbarius »

If I remember correctly we enter the house of Aquarius in around 2150, assuming that 1 CE (Anno Domini) was the beginning of Pisces. The exact date is a rather large argument between a number of astronomers, all of whom shall be dead when any of the dates occur, anyway.

Mr. Flibble, I like how you casually stroll into the discussion and toss out ~ oh my mate's a PhD and he says.... (grins). The Y2K (year 2000) deal was a scam. It was first talked about publicly in around 1994 -"oh my gawd, what's going to happen to my Delica when the odometer turns over 100,000?" That was pretty much what Y2K was about so I don't think we should waste much more time on that.

In the meantime don't you think that three individually separate ancient calendars agreeing on a time as the solar system lines up peaks a little interest? I don't know if the Mayan Indian I met had a PhD but he grew up with the story, mind ~ I guess a professional studying the people instantly knows more about the people than the people themselves. By the way, where did he get his information?

In my experience the "World" ends all the time. The first time I was aware of the World ending would have been on the eighth of December, 1980 when I picked up a copy of the Evening Standard at a newsagent's in Battersea, London. The world ended on 22 November, 1963 with the assassination of President Kennedy, as it did on the 11th of September, 1973 with the American sponsored coup d'état that led to the overthrow of President Salvador Allende by the Chilean Army led by General Augusto Pinochet.

So I guess what I am suggesting we consider is ~ what do we mean by the "end of the World"?

Falco.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by Mr. Flibble »

FalcoColumbarius wrote:If I remember correctly we enter the house of Aquarius in around 2150, assuming that 1 CE (Anno Domini) was the beginning of Pisces. The exact date is a rather large argument between a number of astronomers, all of whom shall be dead when any of the dates occur, anyway.

Mr. Flibble, I like how you casually stroll into the discussion and toss out ~ oh my mate's a PhD and he says.... (grins). The Y2K (year 2000) deal was a scam. It was first talked about publicly in around 1994 -"oh my gawd, what's going to happen to my Delica when the odometer turns over 100,000?" That was pretty much what Y2K was about so I don't think we should waste much more time on that.

In the meantime don't you think that three individually separate ancient calendars agreeing on a time as the solar system lines up peaks a little interest? I don't know if the Mayan Indian I met had a PhD but he grew up with the story, mind ~ I guess a professional studying the people instantly knows more about the people than the people themselves. By the way, where did he get his information?

In my experience the "World" ends all the time. The first time I was aware of the World ending would have been on the eighth of December, 1980 when I picked up a copy of the Evening Standard at a newsagent's in Battersea, London. The world ended on 22 November, 1963 with the assassination of President Kennedy, as it did on the 11th of September, 1973 with the American sponsored coup d'état that led to the overthrow of President Salvador Allende by the Chilean Army led by General Augusto Pinochet.

So I guess what I am suggesting we consider is ~ what do we mean by the "end of the World"?

Falco.
It does not cause me much alarm because it is a correlation vs. causation situation. At some point we are going to have different calendars that end on different dates come together. After all, there are lots of calendars around. As for the 2012 Calendar, it rolls over just like any other.

More detail here:
http://archaeology.about.com/b/2010/03/ ... 12-faq.htm
(That article references my friend Marc Zender, and links to some of his work at Harvard)

But, I remember the bible prophecy that said that the Rapture was coming in 1988 - it was based on one of the best selling books of the 1970s - but everyone forgets about that. Or, that there was going to be a massive flood in London over the heights of all the buildings, that was in the 1700s I believe. (I can't remember the event terminology to look up the proper date).

There are always disaster predictions like this, but my concern is that they are based on specious evidence. If you take a bunch of similar happenings and link them all together you can come up with a similar prediction for almost anything.

My favorite example is shown in the following quote by Richard P. Feynman:
You know, the most amazing thing happened to me tonight. I was coming here, on the way to the lecture, and I came in through the parking lot. And you won't believe what happened. I saw a car with the license plate ARW 357. Can you imagine? Of all the millions of license plates in the state, what was the chance that I would see that particular one tonight? Amazing!
What does that license plate mean? Nothing. And that is the point. We only notice license plates or things that have a supposed meaning to us - if we don't find meaning in little things like that we ignore them. It is similar to how you always see Delica's on the road when you are out driving. But how often do you see every Ford Taurus or Jeep Cherokee? You don't notice those as much because you don't drive them.

Our brains notice patterns and seek those patterns out. So, if you look for conspiracy theories or ideas, you will find them wherever you look.

Personally, I find that type of thought rather dangerous.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by glenn »

I'm with mr fibble on this one!

I find it hard not to comment on this:
I love the mayan/aztec cultures, their wisdom is fascinating, their fate was a true loss to humanity
Sure, if you like violent, totalitarian, city-states who's leaders consider themselves demigods.

I would argue that the mayan/aztec culture still exists, largely unchanged throughout southern mexico and central america. They plod on despite the many regime changes over 1000's of years. And there is not much to admire about a regime that routinely cut open living people to offer their still beating hearts to the gods in massive public ceremonies. They also had slavery, and caused huge environmental degradation which led to the collapse of their reign. Sure, they had a great calendar, better than ours at accounting for the actual length of the year (we have the crazy leap year), but come on, they were not exactly icons of humanity.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by konadog »

We're pretty much all the same - The Romans were brutes too, though they did make some fabulous contributions to humanity and get icon status. Same with the Mayan and Aztecs, and every other civilization. Cortes was a brute the way he invaded them, but was only successful because all the smaller groups surrounding them were oppressed and tired of the Aztecs pushing them around, taking their crops for tax and their children for sacrifice - yeah, cutting their hearts out with beautiful, elegant hooked obsidian blades. No civilization or culture is without a dark side - It's human nature, so it seems.
As for the 2012 thing, well, foretelling the future is also a universal human pastime and painting a distopian future is especially popular. The Mayan calender was ingenious, for sure, but they had no more insight into the centuries ahead than anyone else.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by solanoid »

Glenn,

You are obviously a zealot, thats fine. I want you to think of all of the sacrifices made by the aboriginals, and all of the murders commited by every dictator. Those numbers are insignificant when compared to the attrocoties commited by our "modern" and "civilized" society (you know what I mean by that right?)

Your symbol is one of suffering and deceit, not of peace and good will as they would like to have you beleive.
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by Mr. Flibble »

solanoid wrote:Glenn,

You are obviously a zealot, thats fine. I want you to think of all of the sacrifices made by the aboriginals, and all of the murders commited by every dictator. Those numbers are insignificant when compared to the attrocoties commited by our "modern" and "civilized" society (you know what I mean by that right?)

Your symbol is one of suffering and deceit, not of peace and good will as they would like to have you beleive.
Why accuse him of being a zealot? Do you have anything to back up that accusation?

And, our modern and civilized society has decreased the number of murders and death per person as time has gone on, not increased it. Where did you get your numbers from?
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Re: Welcome to the "Last Word Café".

Post by konadog »

solanoid wrote:Glenn,

You are obviously a zealot...
:? Huh?
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